Friday, April 13, 2012

Friday the 13th

The moment I realized that my Fert report would come in today - Friday 13th - I knew it could not be great news.

And it was not.

The donor did not do any better than I did with my old eggs. Not going to get into specifics, but I am hugely disappointed and generally pissed off.

Yes, she is 25yrs old but the fact that only half her eggs fertilized says it all about the quality.

So whatever!

They expect a Day 3 transfer which is annoying me even more since those are not as good as Day 5.

Now, I just want to get it over with it.

Do the transfer Day 3 (if the embryos even get that far), get my BFN which now I am sure I will get.  Immediately do another cycle if there is an embryo(s) to spare, which I seriously doubt, and call it quits on this journey.

And I dare say that canNOT be fast enough.

The more I think about it my life is pretty damn good as it is and I have no idea why I am putting myself through this crap.

No, actually I do know.  

I am doing is so I can check the box on my TTC list that says "Tried Donor Eggs", and not have regrets later in life that I did not give it my best shot while I still had the chance. 

Sorry, but I just needed to have a  vent session.

13 comments:

  1. So sorry that it was such a disappointing turn out. The number 13 has always been lucky for me. I hope that something turns around and it is also lucky for you!

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  2. Oh sweetie, can you not tell them that you would rather wait to five days? After all it is your money paying for this. If you feel more comfortable with five day embryos (and I have no idea what mine are), it seems like it would make more sense to see if they make it to Day 5. If none make it to Day 5, then you can quit all the stupid meds and not have to worry about the stupid BFN. It's just my reasoning and I am tired, hungry, hormonal, and disappointed about work stuff. So who should be listening to me, anyway? But I do think that you should push for the transfer you are more comfortable with.

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  3. Understandable that you need to vent. That is terrible news. Ugh! If it doesn't work will you get a partial refund? I really hope that you don't get a BFN but instead get a BFP. Good Luck!

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  4. I know it seems as if it's all down the tubes but take heart....those embies may come through for you yet. The waiting sucks crapass fo' sho'.

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  5. I'm so sorry you're disappointed with the results but I agree with Paige...don't count those embies out yet. Hang in there - Friday the 13th is almost over!

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  6. WTF? Sounds like my first donor cycle. I really hope it doesn't end up like my first donor cycle. Hell, it has to work for someone, the stats are so high.

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    1. I know....it is similar to your first one. I am seriously wondering where they are getting the DE stats from because from what I am seeing on the blogs its more likely a BFN.

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  7. I know it's a big disappointment, I would have expected better results too, BUT I don't think you are out AT ALL. You may have great embryos to transfer still, hang in there, it is way too early to think it may not work.

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  8. Sorry for the test above. I just found your blog and wanted to let you know I had the same problem, but not with DE! I had two 4-cells transferred on 4/17. The RE didn't tell me until after the transfer, so yeah, pretty disappointed. I didn't ask about the grade. But I still have subtle hope; it's the only thing that gets me through the progesterone injections right now. This after my first ivf, during which all 7 eggs arrested just after fertilization. Ah well. Here's to hope.

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    Replies
    1. Good luck, Anonymous. Hope we both beat the odds somehow.

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