Is it possible to have a part of you that is aching and waiting and hoping for a child, yet another part of you that moves through life and can actually find happiness in small things, like a good meal or a nice song?
A part of you that sobs at the news of a low beta signalling the end of a pregnancy, but another part that can take a conference call an hour later and "act" like all is well in the world?
Can you be aching in a remote part of your heart, but still have a fairly good day?
I wonder ... because that is how I feel sometimes.
I have my moments of deep sadness and despair, but I also have good days when I feel things are okay and I count my blessings and believe that I will be fine whatever the outcome.
Am I alone in feeling this way?
I don't think you're alone. You're very lucky to feel this way. I've felt this way too but felt it was only a distraction. Eventually reality came crashing back to me. But it sounds like you truly take joy in the small things and that is good.
ReplyDeleteThe instinct and desire to be a mom is only a part of who you are. It makes sense that you'd still be able to find some enjoyment in other parts of life.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping that someday soon you wonder if it's normal that you've had moments away from your child where you didn't think about him/her. :)
Sounds normal enough to me these days. I guess it's part of the journey.
ReplyDeletePS. the password for my blog is: strawberry frog
ReplyDeletehttp://tearsandtantrums.wordpress.com/