Counting down....

My 40 days of fun are drawing to a close.

I only have 4 days left before I start Lupron and that is usually when I eliminate the alcohol and start winding down on caffeine slowly. I like to do the caffeine elimination gradually so I don't shock my system too much by stopping cold turkey. I do drink decaf tea even during TWW, I have to confess.

Not sure how I feel about this cycle - ambivalent perhaps. I don't want to say it feels hopeless, but I am also not super excited. Seems like an annoyance to have to go through a 5-week protocol yet again, wondering and worrying if I will even get a decent embryo or if I will be back at square one. If the protocol was faster I would be more on-board.

You know, I actually find the lead-up to transfer a lot more emotionally exhausting and nerve-wracking than the TWW.  By the time one is in TWW its all out of one's hands entirely - one knows the lining was appropriate, one knows if its a good embryo or not and after that its just a 50/50 chance whether it will work.  However, its this lead up when there are so many variables that can go wrong and have for me in the past, that I have a difficult time with.  Hence, the lack of excitement, I guess.

So, anyways this is my last weekend of "fun" and I have several things planned which I am looking forward to, including Father's Day. I am taking my Dad to an aviation themed restaurant which I know he will enjoy, plus giving him a box set of a WWII British television series which I have seen and really enjoyed. I look forward to watching it with him in the coming weeks.

New tree guy called and they are coming tomorrow afternoon. That will be 48 hrs after I engaged his company!

I am no longer conflicted and feeling guilty about the magnolia tree. Yes, its not ideal to cut down a living tree, but I have no choice. Two years ago I had it trimmed and its grown even more since.

Mommy bird in the maple is doing well. Around 6pm she flew off and I could see two eggs in there, there may be a third. This evening I forgot to close the blinds until past 10pm, so poor thing must have had light flashing in her eyes. I need to remember to close the blinds at dusk, particularly when the chicks come.

Oh and I have checked there is no nest in the magnolia tree, thank goodness.

I got a bill from my insurance for the beta blood draw, so I need to call the clinic and question that. After all the tens of thousands I have paid them it should include the beta test which technically ends the cycle.  Like most medical establishments they like to double dip - charge the customer on the front end and the go to the insurance company from the back-end, grrrrrr.