And it continues....

...more drama in my life, that is. 

This is vent-post so be warned.

Seriously as hard as I try to make my life as drama and stress free as possible, it always finds its way in :-(

The latest is work related.

My counterpart in the UK has given in his 30 day notice and now the company is scrambling to fill his place given we are about to go live with our newest and biggest customer to date.

Needless to say his timing sucks big time. He is the one whose wife just got pregnant with DE-IVF...anyways so now I am the anointed one to handle his case...which would be fine EXCEPT they want me to travel to London.

Normally, I would love the opportunity to go to London again (had lived there for a short while).

......BUT the timing SUCKS!!!!!

My boss called me early yesterday and told me that I will be managing this account and if I would be able to travel to the UK. He sort of tentatively asked if "my schedule would permit". I told him I cannot in July but possibly August.

Now, the head of the UK office knows about my situation. He figured it out on his own last Oct. I am not sure how much he has shared with my new boss, but when I spoke with UK boss later he asked me where I was with my IVF and he said "I suppose you would prefer not to travel after transfer" to which I said Yes.

Then later in the evening my boss called AGAIN asking if I would be okay to travel. I was now getting super stressed since I know he was getting pressure from above. So I told him not to worry and between my colleague on the West Coast and myself we will handle the account and make sure its a success, and perhaps she would be able to go, even if I personally cannot, and left it at that. He felt reassured and we ended the call. 

The irony is that my colleague in the US has been working on this this account for a year, and is still handling 80% of the work through completion, so why they are bringing me in and not just letting her handle the remaining 20% is weird.  But I think I know why. The UK head does not get along with my colleague, so he probably specifically requested me.

Initially I was like okay I will go but now I am really worried. If I get a BFN then its a no brainer I can go for sure in Aug, but if I get a BFP then its a whole new set of worry.

I am not so worried about the long haul flight itself, but its the dragging of suitcases (through airport/trains) and carrying heavy laptop that worries me more. I would prefer to not travel until I get released to an OB and I know things are looking good.

Of course this is ALL just conjecture at this point since who know if I even get to transfer leave alone get BFP....and that is even more annoying since its all so vague! And if this cycle is BFN then I am back to Square 1 and trasnferring in Sept which may be even worse timing wise :-(

Here is what is bugging me the most - I am a very private person IRL. I really do not want to have to disclose to the whole damn company what I am doing. So far I have been able to do my cycle pretty much under the radar with a just couple of people knowing. If this whole thing comes to fruition I will have to disclose that I am having medical treatments and frankly its nobody's business. I know people will understand but I really had hoped I could do this privately....not sure if that even makes sense :-(

So after stressing and fretting and having a sleepless night which I so not what I need right now..... I have decided to just let go. 

In any case I am not going anywhere until Beta, and after that I will ask my RE what the clinic's position in on transatlantic travel and if required I will have him write me a letter.

Also, I am not going to say anything to anybody until some concrete dates actually come up at which time I will be able to make a better decision.

So annoying when someone else's decisions impact the tranquility of one's life.

Oh and to add to it all I ran out of syringes today. Used the last one up this morning so had to email the clinic and call around to see who carried 1/2cc syringes. Finally located it at Tar.get so the nurse called in the prescription in and I picked it up during lunch.

Thanks for letting me vent I needed it.

Wish I could have a big glass of wine!!!!!