The Birth Story and A Name

Ladies, I would like to formally introduce my baby girl - Sabrina - known to us as Beanie the past 9 months.  I will continue to refer to her as Beanie in the blog, but I did want to briefly share her first name with you all.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your support throughout this journey. You kept me sane and strong, especially during the difficult genetic testing time, and all your prayers and good wishes were deeply valued and appreciated. Thank you!

Below is Beanie's birth story:

The night before I have to admit I was anxious - anxious about the surgery, about her health, and everything in-between. It was nice having my Mom at home. 

At 4am I woke up and ate an egg and toast and drank my last glass of water. The surgery was scheduled for 12:30om and I was worried about being empty stomach for more than eight hours. My OB said it was okay to eat latest by 4am.

We left for the hospital at 10am, check in was at 10:30am.  My Dad drove us and we went up to L&D. I was told that I would be initially set up in a room from where I would go to the prep area, but turns out that was not the case. Since only one person was allowed in, I said bye to my Dad (we were both a bit emotional) and suggested he go home since I did not want him just sitting there by himself in the waiting area.

My Mom and I go into L&D.

Not sure what I was expecting - throngs of groaning women and nurses running wildly from room to room (?) - but instead we were met with eerie silence. There was no one about, stations were empty and finally at the end of a corridor we found the nurses. ALL of them just hanging out!

They took us to a recover/prep area and handed me a bunch of paperwork. I was mildly annoyed since it was a LOT and I would have preferred to have all consents signed earlier as I did with my myomectomy.  I am told to read and sign all these papers and the nurse starts urging me to get changed so we can get moving along. It was only 10:40am but she felt we were running late.

I changed out of my clothes and she asks me a bunch of questions to put in the computer while a nurse starts to put the IV in.

Okay that part SUCKED!!

I have small veins in general and after being without water for 8+ hours they are practically non-existent. They tried eight times blowing each vein as they went along. At one point I started to feel very faint and they had to put a cold wet cotton towel on my forehead and made me smell some alcohol.  They finally succeeded on the 9th try in a really awkward spot inside my left wrist.

My Mom starts filling out the paperwork, I am being poked and the other nurse is asking tons of questions to put in the computer. It was pretty crazy!

Also the nurses were very sweet but did not inspire confidence. I told them I was allergic to penicillin so then they are asking each other "is xxx drug okay to give? It is a cousin of penicillin....what is the weight cut off for 1gram" - yikes! Finally I heard them say they would call the OB who said it was okay....geez!!!!

The anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself and explained what they would do. My Mom was given her "space suit" to wear and I was wheeled into the OR.

It was a medium, sized room with tons of monitors etc and freezing cold. I started shaking with cold and worried that my shaking may cause the spinal needle to go awry. They gave me a warm blanket and had me stoop over to get the vein. Being into yoga I had no issues getting in that position or staying steady.  They had told me the local anesthesia to numb the skin would burn, but I barely felt it. The anesthesiologist  kept saying I had a soft spot or something on my spine, and I asked him if it was normal and he said yes it happens sometimes when pregnant.

I have to say I don't really like being awake during surgery. They are all talking and it makes me nervous hearing stuff. The staff were super nice and the anesthesiologist's assistant was very comforting and explaining everything before it happened.

They had me all ready, the OB came in. She had already stopped by earlier on the prep area where she saw my left hand where the IV was stuck had turned blue. Ugh -- she rubbed them and it was just the cold.

In the OR, they put some weird paper thing on my arms which were outstretched and ran warm air through it which was really nice.

My Mom finally came in and sat my me head. She could not hold my hand since I was all stretched out but laid her hand on my forehead. Boy, did that feel reassuring!!! 

They then checked to see if I was numb and got started. Thanks to Angie at Lupron Lunacy blog I was looking out for the hand numbness and the difficulty breathing, but I gotta tell you....

...the c-section was brutal.  

Not sure how Beanie was scrunched up in there but they had a really hard time getting her out.  The OB had warned me they would be putting pressure on my belly, but they were practically pressing her out of me, not once but twice. I really though they would break my ribs.  It was awful, and I am not the faint of heart. 

They got her out and raised her above the curtain, so I could see her face and body all covered in that white stuff. Then she was whisked to the other end of the room and my Mom called over there.

By then they were stitching me back up. I started to feel nauseous and actually gagging though nothing was there to come out. That part was not fun. I just wanted it all to be over.

They brought Beanie over to me all wiped down. Before that my Mom came over and told me she was a beautiful baby. 

When they brought her over, I just burst into tears and blubbered "Hi Beanie - I love you". 

It was a culmination of all the 5 years of trying, the disappointments, the scores upon scores of stark white BFNs, the hopelessness, the shots, the surgery, the unsuccessful IUIs, OE failed IVFs, the DE failed cycle, the divorce..... all the crap I went though to get to THIS date and THIS moment in time.

Beanie was here --  safe and sound and she was all mine.

The anesthesiologist guy was so sweet, he said "shall I wipe your tears?".  LOL

They then took her away and finished up with me. The OB came over to me and said that she did not see any adhesion or anything else funky in my uterus from the myomectomy.

She left.

I was taken to recovery and my Mom and Beanie brought in. My body was numb waist down so I was comfortable enough.

There was slight bruising around Beanie's chin and mouth and her O2 levels were at about 85-90. So, they took her to the NICU to get checked out. The NICU nurses sent her right back with a pulse ox attached saying it was not a NICU severity issue. So, she lay in my arms and her O2 levels kept rising and stabilized at 100. The respiratory therapist came in about 10 min later and she was at a 100% so they were fine with it.

She was crying and I held her close and spoke to her and she immediately recognized my voice and calmed down. That was such a powerful moment. The connection was instantaneous.

We were taken to the room and set up there. She got whisked off to the nursery to get thoroughly checked out and get cleaned up and was back in the room a little while later.

That night was rough both in terms of pain and watching Beanie. She had some mucous in her stomach which is normal for c-section babies, so she was spitting it up. It worried my Mom and I at night so we took turns sitting up with her in our arms. We did not know about a wonderful place called the "nursery". Despite the pain, I was so transfixed by her!

Next day they informed me about the elevated bilirubin and placed her under the lights for 20 hrs. She howled her head off when put in the "suit". It was too much for me to bear so they took her to the nursery, where she successed in agitating all the other babies. She did have a friend - a baby boy - next to her who was also under the lights so they sort of bonded (per the nurses) - so cute!! 

That night she stayed in the nursery and the next night (last night) we decided to send here there so we could get some rest. My Mom stayed with me the entire time.

The hospital pediatrician checked out Beanie and did not see any reason to run a chromosomal test on her based on the bad CVS/good Amnio results.  The OB office had forwarded all the pregnancy records to them.  BTW --neither did Beanie's own pediatrician we met on Monday. So, that awful chapter is finally closed!

When we left the hospital 3 days later, I was sitting in the back seat with Beanie, and I had tears streaming down my face.

I was just so very thankful that the pregnancy went well and I was leaving with my baby girl.