Its been rough

Thanks for your condolences. It means a lot during such a difficult time. Regardless to say its been a rotten ten days with everything that is going on.

Beanie is still not fully recovered. On the good side, she has not had a fever for over a week. I took her back to the pediatrician on Friday for a re-check after giving her three days of Al.buterol treatments for her slight wheezing and her chest and ears were clear.  So that was great news and she is getting her appetite back and is her normal happy self.

The downside is that she still has a terrible cough and invariably coughs so hard at times that she vomits or lets out a heart-rending cry. Its horrible to watch/hear and I feel so bad for her. Of course its always the worst at night, so my awesome Mom has been sleeping at my place for almost 10 days now. She too caught the bug :-(

I feel like I have failed Beanie by putting in in daycare and subjecting her to the awful virus. She was not sick a single day for the first 5.5 months, but has had something or other every since she started daycare. I am wracked with guilt and am seriously considering pulling her out and getting a nanny until spring.  RSV increases the odds of a child having asthma and I feel horrible that I may have made my healthy baby sick.  I know she loves the daycare and now that she is crawling - yes today she officially crawled on her hands and knees - she will have so much fun with all the fun stuff. I am so torn!!! Not to mention I have to look at my finances as well since having a nanny is not cheap.

To add to it I have been sick too with a bad cold which now seven days later seems to be settling in my sinus. I am sick of being sick, too. This is my second cold in two months. Its ridiculous!

So anyway thanks for letting me vent. Its been really tough and I am hoping that poor Beanie recovers quickly.