The journey ends

And just like that.....my sweet, kind, generous, loving Dad is gone.

He joined the angels today at 2:50pm ET after being taken off life support.

Just as he did in life, even in death he looked out for us. He did not linger for hours. He was gone in just under a hour.  It was difficult to see, but they had made him comfortable with anti-anxiety meds and pain meds. He was fully sedated and did not open his eyes or acknowledge us. My Mom, my sis and I were with him...holding his hand.

I told Beanie the sad news this evening. I said that that "Dada had been very sick and the Drs tried to help him but he was tired and his body was old and it stopped working".  She put 2 and 2 together and asked if he has died, and I said yes.

She has been crying and saying she misses him. She knew he was very sick in the hospital but not the details. So, while we have had time to somewhat assimilate and prepare ourselves, she had not.  She went to bed crying...I told her it was okay to be sad and we will be very sad for a while, but then we will be strong and remember Dada would not have wanted us to be sad.

I have a play date planned for her tomorrow so she can have some normalcy.

I cannot believe my Dad is gone....my heart is broken!

I really thought we had at least another 8 mos to a year with him.

But he is at peace now...no more back pain, no more worry about scans and blood tests and cancer coming back.

He was so brave and not once did he complain. During one Dr appt he was to get a blood test...his veins were always very thin but chemo had made them even thinner. The nurse was poking and prodding him trying to find a usable vein. I was a bit of a distance away but I could see what was going on in the room. And it broke my heart. I got up and was practically in tears, but he just sat there calmly with all these bits of bleeding pokes all over his arm.

He was so protective of us...he always had us leave when he was getting chemo because he did not want to subject us to seeing him that way. That was the sort of man he was.  I know he would not have been happy that we had to see him on life support....but we had to do what we can to help him.

Please pray for my Dad. May his soul rest in peace.

I love you Dad, to the moon and back!