Taking this hard

I am not doing very well over the car situation.

I am really emotional over it and have had several crying jags the past few days.

My head keeps telling me -- its a CAR for heavens sake, but my heart is not buying it. 

I am very attached to it.  I think its pretty much the only inanimate possession that I have that I am so attached to. I mean I like my house a lot and things like my sofa or a particular lamp for example, and stuff  like that, but I think the car is different in that it has seen me through some of the toughest times in my life.

Of course it does not help that I have always humanized my car ever since I bought it 12 years ago. Referring to it as "her", talking to her,....so now when I think of her lonely in the body shop, hoping to come home I am beside myself!  

I suppose the best way to describe how I feel is like having a pet. They become  a part of the fabric of your life, and giving her up is to me like giving up one's pet. Something one cared for so carefully.

I got the call from the insurance company on Monday at about 5pm.

I did not call back until today.

I had a huge ray of hope last Thursday when I went to the body shop and spent almost an hour with the owner and saw the damage. He said he would revise the quote based on if I was paying and then getting reimbursed from the co.

The issue is the trunk floor.

Somehow the trunk floor got torn, so there is a hole there the size of a man's hand. The metal floor next to it is bent like an accordion, again not a lot but about the size of a man's hand.  The insurance company wants the entire floor replaced which is about $2500 just in parts, and almost 20 hours of labor.  On Thursday the guy told me that they could try to un-wrinkle it and not replace it, but he was not sure if it would work. He came back with an estimate of $5,250, much better than the $8600 but he did say he was not sure until they tried.

I spoke with my insurance co today and chatted with my adjuster. I felt I may have made a mistake going through the other guys co, but he said I did not. Basically he said if the other insurance totals the car, their estimate will not be far off. I also asked whether I could pay for the repairs and then claim it later.

As you can see I am desperately trying all options to save the car, but it all started to look bleak again!

I finally had the courage to call the other insurance and return the adjuster's call.

He called me around 4pm and told me that the damage they were estimating at was about $7500. He was actually really nice and said that it was an economic loss since anything can be rebuilt, but they also suspect there may be other damage that is not yet visible.

They will be towing my car to another storage tomorrow and he will get back to me with what they are valuing it at and we will discuss next steps.

I can always get my car back and fix it myself but they will deduct the salvage value and I would have to get a salvage title on it, get it inspected by the state etc. Not sure I can go through all that assuming they would not find structural damage when they actually take it apart. And of course safety is my biggest issue!!!


It all feels so surreal.

I still wake in the mornings hoping my car is back safe and sound in my garage. I had a dream a few months ago that the car was damaged, I recall waking up in a cold sweat and then happily realizing it was just a bad dream!

It does not help my emotional state that the past two days on the way back from school, Beanie has bee crying on the drive home and saying "mine kai back".  She keeps asking when we will get it back and says "mommy kai broken" , "guys fix it". When I say "no baby, the guys cannot fix it" she says "dada fix it" (my Dad fixes a lot of her toys).

Wish my Dad could fix it -- this is one thing he cannot fix.

So sad :-(

So now I am in the market for a  new car - ugh!

Oh and in other news, Friday morning I woke to the smell of burning.

It was the upstairs heating. So I turned it off and called the home warranty company while I cursed my luck!   We had no heat for the weekend, but on Monday the guy came. I finally had a stroke of good luck, it was a small part which he fixed and all I had to pay was for the visit - phew!