Happy 1st Birthday, Beanie!

One year ago today, at 1:01pm EST my life changed forever...... my heart grew a thousand fold and I experienced a love that has no bounds as I held a beautiful little miracle in my arms.

My little Beanie turns one year old today!

I cannot even begin to describe how I am feeling as I look back to the past year. There are no words that can adequately convey the deep gratitude I feel that I have this child to love and raise. The fact that it was a long hard journey, full of of heartbreak, only makes every moment with her so much sweeter since I know I came close to not having this happiness in my life.

Beanie is 1 year old -- officially a toddler. Where did the year go by!  It went by fast, but I can truly say that I have savored each phase and each and every month as I saw her reach new milestones.

This past month she is standing independently now and getting very close to walking, but not there yet! I would love to write a long post about her, but I am just not that eloquent.

So here are some of the things I adore about my little girl:

1. I love the way she clings to me in the middle of the night, wrapping her hands tightly around my neck and giving a contended sigh. We have been co-sleeping recently and you know, I love it!  I love seeing her tiny body next to me and having her snuggle against me.
2. I love her smile and her laugh. And the fact that whatever her mood I can always make her smile.
3. I love how she plays with me in the mornings while we are waking up from sleep and we make up silly games. She loves when I tickle her or when we rub noses which she finds hilarious.
4. I love how she is now beginning to copy facial expressions and we have fun with it.
5. She is quite the little helper and helps me with laundry by passing me the clothes as I fold them. Its so cute!
6. I love how she will startle when I  find her doing something she should not. She gives the most adorable guilty look. And when I ask "Beanie did you do that?", she will look innocently around pointing her finger, as though she can pin it one someone else!
7. I love how my singing makes her laugh or when she sees me in a ponytail or looking different in anyway. 
8. I love how well she is growing and learning new things each day. She can now sign "milk" and "eat" and indicate "brushing teeth. She can say "there", "that" and since a couple of days ago "mama" but not to me, just randomly. She calls her bottle "baba" and my Dad "dada". Today I think  she said "right there" when I asked her where something was. She can also say "okay" and "ya" in the appropriate context of things usually.
9. I love how adventurous and fearless she is
10. And most importantly, I love how I am the most important person in the world to her, and she to me! There is nothing better in the world than walking up to her and seeing her break out in a smile with her eyes shining with love. Or have her lean in to me multiple times so I can kiss those chubby cheeks again and again.

Motherhood is by far better than I had ever imagined. Sure there is an unreal amount of worry and there are some tough moments when one feels one's patience is at the very end and exhaustion is hard to deal with, but those are outweighed by the day to day good stuff that happens. It is all so worth it!

Happy first birthday, my darling Beanie. You are the best decision I ever made and are loved beyond measure!

Getting ready for the party!

Playing with my new xylophone.